ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:
"CBS executives met Monday to pitch the new season of their hit show Survivor. With the precious season of dismal ratings, the suits at CBS knew the stakes were high if the long time prime time goldmine wants to stick around in the near future.
'We know people are looking for something new this season' said Executive Producer Mark Burnett. 'We know we need to up the ante and really hit the ground running.'
Burnett has now introduced the new season of the show Survivor: Andy Rooney's House, where a tribe of would be castaways are forced to live with the America's favorite elderly anchor..."
Rumor has it that they are already shooting it at Rooney's house in NY. Lucky for you I have a friend in the "Industry" who fished some transcripts from the show out of a dumpster on the CS lot.
SURVIVOR : ANDY ROONEY'S HOUSE
Three castaways sit at ANDY'S DINNER TABLE, ANDY is stabbing absent minded at some peas.
ANDY
Did you ever wonder why they call peas peas?
Contestant BILL sits across the table. He is sobbing, snot runs down his nose as the holds a snub nose revolver to his temple.
BILL
Oh GOD! No more NO MORE!
ANDY
I mean, they don't LOOK like the letter P at all...Do you ever wonder who decided which letters came first? What's so special about the letter "A". Why not "B" or "F" or even "X"... what do you think SALLY?
Contestant SALLY is huddled in the corner of the room, hunched over in the fetal position, she rocks and shakes.
SALLY
It's so cold. It's so cold.
ANDY
No Sally that's wrong!...say didya ever wonder about Raisin Bran. I mean, how do they REALLY know there are two scoops in each box...
END
That's all I got, the rest was either burnt off or covered by prune juice stains...oh well
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